When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
