everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
