Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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