turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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