We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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