This dress was meant to end up on your floor
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
