I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
