well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
it's like iHOP with fire
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
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