My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
