Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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