First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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