We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
