The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize