Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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