just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Randomize
