I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
