i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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