New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
