Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
