who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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