Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
