You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
