Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
