He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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