i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize