Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She's not a foreskin expert like you
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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