oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
