And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
