So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
