69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
