im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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