We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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