I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
