smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
