we have officially lost it.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
