i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
