There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
