So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I have post one night stand depression
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