God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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