i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Quick, to the slutcave!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
