so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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