he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize