I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
