My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
