i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
