I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
