but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
