We're facebook friends in real life
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
