I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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