My first STD was from a foam party
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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