ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize