it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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