That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
