I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
