Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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