quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
