White coat. Heels.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
