it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
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Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
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My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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